Date Rape: When the Fun Stops

Rape generally means forcing someone to have sexual intercourse. Naturally this is considered a crime. What many do not know however is that there is a need for many of us to change our concept of rape. Some people still maintain the stereotypical idea of rape in their minds, and immediately imagine a scary-looking guy pouncing at a woman walking all by herself in a dark deserted alley. Although this is of course still considered a description of a rape scene, there are other scenarios where rape can occur.

A good-looking, well-groomed person who you may already know or are familiar with even to a minimal extent can perpetrate rape, and rape can happen not in a dirty alley, but even in a tidy apartment or room. As long as the element of forced sexual intercourse is present, the incident is considered rape. A person therefore, who goes out with someone with the intention of having a few drinks and some fun and then is later forced to have sex is considered a victim of date rape. This means a boyfriend, an ex-boyfriend, a friend or an acquaintance can perpetrate date rape. Incidentally, women are not the only victims of date rape. Men can become victims too, although there are more female than male victims.

Date rape is not a new phenomenon and has actually been happening to a lot of people. The only reason the statistics are so hard to pin down is that there are some victims who simply do not report their ordeal. Sometimes when you're on a date with someone and you've had a few drinks and then had sex after, the details become blurred. Victims of date rape, even when they feel or express that they did not consent to the sexual act, may think that they were partly responsible for what happened because the intercourse happened somewhere during or after a date to which they freely consented to. The truth is that no matter what the context was when forced sex happened, the victims are not at fault. Forced sex even after a date where both parties had a lot of fun, is still considered rape.

Usually, perpetrators of date rape try to get a girl drunk or may mix drugs like rohypnol and ketamine into their date's drinks. This is called spiking. Since this very common, women should be mindful of the refreshments they're taking. As much as possible, get your own drink, but if a date insists on being a gentleman and fetches you a glass or two, make sure your eyes don't leave the drink, or better yet, watch while it is being prepared. If you do not trust your date yet or if you haven't known him for very long, or if you have a bad feeling about him, do not take a sip of whatever he gives you even if it offends him. If his intentions are pure and he really likes you, he'll understand if you explain why you are being cautious.

Even if you take precautions, bad things can still happen. If you become a victim of date rape, the best thing to do is to report the incident. Do not be quiet about it. You are helping yourself by seeking help and you are helping others by telling your story.